How are you?

I am okay. I felt relieved after seeing PK and Carrie and they weren't angry. My idol is pleasing people. I really need to stop and do what is right for me. 

I have given you not a spirit of fear but of peace, I will work on you. You now can overcome many obstacles that before we're impossible. You will be able to supersede hour expectations of yourself through Me. 

Pray: lord Father, thank you for guiding us where we went tonight. I pray comfort and blessings to my peers and I pray that you bless us and guide me continually. Even if I'm rebellious. 

Thank you Lord. Amen!

Behold, I am doing a new thing

This new thing of God has got me worried. Yesterday, before spending some great quality time with my parents who came to visit for one afternoon, I quit my current church. God laid it on my heart to tell the audiovisual person and the pastor that I would no longer be part of the church. It seemed so odd, so abrupt, but God is doing a new thing. I pray for patience, I pray for guidance, I pray for peace in my heart, because I feel like a whirlwind stirring. I don't know exactly what to do. I'm not upset at TGPA at all. I'm so grateful for everyone and everything that God did through them in me. But it's true, I was no longer being satisfied by God at TGPA. I felt I was doing to do, and not doing out of the response of love that I felt from God. My efforts were no longer being blessed. And God showed me that after 5 years at the TGPA hospital, where they mended me back to health, I can say I am now healed, Praise God! I am complete/whole!

It's time to move on and God will open doors you never imagined. Pray for Pastor Keith as he will need your prayers today.

My son, you are loved. You are loved. Blessed is the one who believes in, confides in and trusts in the Lord. Just as a window is opened to let the air in, so am I opening one so that the wind of my blessings into your life. Lord, I so longed for you so many days. And I felt abandoned, but your Word says, I will not leave you nor forsake you. Continue, Son. I need you Lord. You are my Prince of Peace, You are my shield, You are my portion. Only You, satisfy my soul.

Blessed be the name of the Lord, for His Kingdom is here and His might will reign in the foreign lands you do not know but they do know Me. They Know Me. They follow Me. Wonderful and Awesome are You Lord.

RISE, RISE OH CHILD OF MINE

 (Written earlier as the 2nd or 3rd post)

 CONTINUE TO CONTINUE TO PLAY THE GUITAR

THIS IS WHAT THE SOVERIGN LORD SAYS, YOU, ADAM OF EDEN, COME OUT FROM BEHIND THAT TREE AND LISTEN. I HAVE CALLED YOU NOW FOR YOUR NAME IS NO LONGER DEFEAT, BUT GLORY, MY GLORY, THE GLORY OF THE SOVEREIGN LORD, WHO COMES BEFORE YOU AND TELLS YOU THE TRUTH, YOU ARE BLESSED, AND BLESSED AND BLESSED. YOU ARE BLESSED. CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR TRUTH AND DIVINE APPOINTMENTS. YOU WILL SEE MANY NEW GOOD CHANGES THIS YEAR, DO NOT BE DISCOURAGED, YOUR FATHER WILL SEE YOU. REALLY SEE YOU, NOT JUST AN IMAGE HE WANTS TO SEE BUT HIS GROWN UP CHILD, MAKING A WAY AND A LIFE FOR HIMSELF. THIS IS THE TIME OF THE LORD, TO PRAY TO BE DILIGENT IN STUDY, AND TO ALLOW ME TO USE YOU AND MOLD YOU INTO THE PERSON I DESIGNED YOU TO BE, NOT ABSTRACT ART, NOT CUBISM, BUT REALISM, AND TRUTH, AND YOU SHALL BE CALLED HERO OF THE FAITH. YOU WHO DO NOT WISH TO EXCLAIM MY NAME RIGHT NOW WILL DO SO SOON. MY WORD WILL FALL ON YOUR TONGUE AND MY PEACE WILL FOLLOW YOU WHEREVER YOU GO. YOU WILL BE ZION ON EARTH, YOU WILL GRACE MY PRESENCE WITH YOUR FOOTSTEPS, LONG AND WIDE, BIG AND SMALL WILL COME TO SEE ME THROUGH YOU, HEALING HEALING HEALING WILL COME TO OSWALDO, PRAY FOR FAITH, LORD HELP MY UNBELIEF, IS SO TRUE, I WILL GRANT YOU YOUR DESIRES, YOUR WISH TO BE USED, TO BE USEFUL TO ME, THAT I GUIDE YOU AND YOU WILL NOT WANT. OH GERRY, CAN'T YOU SEE...IT'S ALL PART OF MY PLAN.I KNOW IT HURT, MY SON, I KNOW, BUT SEE YOU ARE NOT THE SAME PERSON YOU WERE WHEN YOU BEGAN THIS JOURNEY. YOU HAVE COJONES NOW, YOU DO. YOU CAN SAY NO TO OS, AND TO DEB AND TO ANYONE ELSE WHO COMES BETWEEN YOU AND MY PLAN. HAVE FAITH, I HAVE NOT LEFT YOU, I CONTINUE TO USE YOU, I CONTINUE TO SPEAK, I CONTINUE TO REIGN OVER YOU. I AM...

THE FATHER IS HERE

The quiet softness of the glow of the air, the amazing bond between the unknown and the known. The newness, the Father, who comes to me when I need Him. He is here. No, I can't feel Him. He's not showing His face, but I know He's working for my good.  I've seen  Him work before. He is a gentleman. But sometimes, I wish I would just feel Him more. Like when I say. Here I am Father, I need you now. I need you NOW.  Do you know how much I need you?

Like a bow to a cello I need you. Like salt to pepper in salad dressing, I need you. Like a cat to it's kittens, I need you. Hello, God? Where are you? Why have you forsaken me? Please? Help! I feel strong sometimes, with this change bs, but I'm not. I'm just waiting for your next instructions. Oh God, can you feel me? Can you feel my spirit? Where do I plug in? 

Ahhhh, I want to scream again! 

JUST AS YOU BE 

No one to impress, no one to follow

This is me. Here. Alone with my thoughts and my mind. A bit of a writer today. I screamed. I ran from myself, my true self. Was it really too hard to imagine that I'd want something different. That I retreat back to my old ways...the ways of overeating and looking at those unmentionable things. Why do I do that to myself. I scream. That's not me. Like Superman when he became bad and he had to scream to separate himself from his bad self. Next is the fight. Well I'm fighting with words. These are my words. No I'm not depressed...I'm finding myself; who is my true self? It is I. I am a country fanatic, not really, but the music stimulates thoughts and the beat makes me continue typing. Yes. I don't care...this medium is a carefree medium. I will allow myself to make grammatical errors and mistakes. If I'm on a role I will just go through. I need to go through...I can't stay where I am right now. I need to jump to the next level. Like Mario, I need to defeat the dragon that is in the castle, the castle of my mind. I need to slay him or jump over him or under him and pull the bridge until he dies in the firey pit, where he attacks me. Well, and come to the next level, even if I'm not where I need to be (where the princess is), I'm no longer on that old level. I'm here, I'm now, I'm me. I'm on another level. I cannot stay where I was, I don't want to continue the cycles the keeps me locked in the castle. I am bigger than that. I am free from myself. I screamed, I cried out loud...I am beating up bad Superman and it feels good. Goodbye condemnation, goodbye overeating, goodbye thoughts of meaningless sex and men. Hello to a newness, a new me, a good me, a proud me, a level above. This is now, this is me, this is great! Hello me!